It’s been a while since my last post, it almost feels like I can’t write. A lot has been going on and there is quite a lot to share, but I will try and keep it short and sweet. I have traveled with my family to Italy, France and Spain for two weeks. It has been an amazing journey and God surely came and stirred a few things in my heart. Going beyond the borders of my ordinary daily routine always gets me going on a tangent of how creative God is and how He placed those qualities in us. Mostly I am just amazed at how beautifully He puzzles things together.
As some of you know I have been married for only a year now, believe me there is a lot that can happen in a years time, but sometimes, something really big can be released in little bits at a time. During our holiday in these beautiful countries God came very gently and opened my eyes for something that have not yet happened since I have married Martus. It was the first time traveling with my parents as a married couple and my brother and his wife also went with. Three different couples, having their own opinions, likes and personalities. God came to brag with His unique designs, us. It’s funny how sometimes you miss these small things that sit right in front of you. For some reason I started reflecting on how different we all are, and who I would like to be standing on my own as, Simone. I had to ask myself , ” Are you still living as the child from her parents standards and opinions or are you standing separated from them with your husband having your own opinions and standards?” This question shook me a bit and as the holiday developed forth I kept on seeing the differences in who I am to who I want to be.
It started affecting my relationship with God, I realized that I pretend way to much in front of the one person that can see the pretense. I had these funny ideas sometimes that I have to sit at the feet of Jesus and read my Bible everyday. And if I dare skip one day I would feel guilty as hell. We all know this one, religion. God came to show me that coming to sit at His feet every morning is not who I am, I am doing this through a standard set from a stereo typical way of speaking to God. Don’t get me wrong I am not saying that doing this is wrong, there comes times we have a desire in doing this. The thing God was trying to say to me is just be yourself in front of me, don’t force yourself in talking to me everyday. Yes, He desires relationship with us, but each one of us are different. Talking to Him every morning for a hour, to be honest, becomes routine and boring to me. I love talking to God through out the day, I love recognizing Him in the beauty of the day and in the things I come across as the day develops. I adore speaking to Him in that manner, it never feels like effort. It released me from religion and made me true to who I am and how unique and special my relationship is with the Lord.
Maybe I am not making sense to anybody, but hopefully there is someone that now feels he or she is not the only one that felt this way. Getting married at a young age has a lot of positives, but it also brings forth other challenges, and this being one of them. I love my parents so much and as simple as this seems when you come face to face with the reality of it, it can be a bit daunting. Thank God for His security and trust, to know that He is the one guiding me and that I sit right in the center of His palm protected in His love. God so beautifully came and said to me it is now time, it’s time to make the shift from your parents to who you are on your own and as the wife of your husband. And the strange thing is I was ready to do it, if it would have been a month earlier I would have struggled in making the change. We will always carry a part of our parents in us, as it is in our DNA, I am not saying to shove them out of the way, it’s about finding who you are. Sometimes we just have to stop worrying and start letting it go and let it happen in it’s own time. It is when we start forcing things that we don’t deal with things properly. One would think that the moment you get married you have to be transformed immediately. My opinion is that let things happen naturally. Don’t force it just let it develop in it’s own time. By doing this you deal with your emotions and fears.
God is so gentle, and such an amazing Father, He just handles these things in a calm and relaxed manner, making you feel safe and sure of what you should do and happy to do it. For all the newlyweds, don’t let people force you into the things that sometimes takes time, don’t let them determine your decisions rather let God guide you in the right direction. Let His gentle voice be the one that stirs your heart and make you see things differently.
*Glory to God for His Fatherly guidance.